Hi loves. It’s been a few days since I came back to the blog. I have been texting you guys with messages each day though. I still get the TMS alerts from school that your Dad is not using the app, but I guess he’s turning in the paper forms. I don’t say anything because lats time I tried to ask him to make sure to turn in your forms he tried to contact the school to remove me from being contacted by them.
I have been doing a lot of therapy in learning how to cope from escaping a narcissist. Sadly that is what your Dad is. He suffers from a mental illness that most likely affected him when he was little because of his Dad and his mom. And his Dad is a narcissist because of his Dad, so you see it is a pattern that is passed down generation from generation. I always thought my love for your Dad and for you both would overcome that, but I realize now that nothing can overcome a narcissist. The reason I was chosen is because your Dad knew I would be an easy target.
Sadly your Dad’s hatred for me overcame his love for you both.
Today’s vocabulary term is Trauma Bonding is defined as loyalty to a person who is destructive. By alternating love and fear you start to get into this cycle or pattern of having to create conflict in order to feel love. It’s a toxic cycle, trust me I know, that was me for 17 years and sadly that is now you.
Naricissm is real and the adverse affects of parental alienation will now likely affect you. I hope you don’t repeat these patterns on your future husband or wife and especially on your children. But the more I read about the trauma you have been through by having me, your primary caretaker in life, completely erased from you the more I fear for you.
I just want you to know that even though your Dad tried to erase me from you, I never stopped loving you every single day of my life and will so until my last breath. You are my everything and always have been. And because I told your Dad and your grandfather that, they used that to get back at me. I am sorry that they loved themselves and their pride more than they loved you.
Mommy misses you guys. I love you. It kills me every day that we are not together and that your father did this to you.
Letters from Mommy 