Dear Natalie,
On November 7th I said goodbye to you thinking I would see you again in 4 days. It has now been 14 days since I have seen you, hug you, cook for you, talk to you, or snuggle with you. You didn’t even pack your clothes. You thought you were going on a normal weekend to your dad, with no idea that you would never be able to return home to me. The confusion and sadness and hurt and shock has been more than unbearable. It is so shocking that there hasn’t even been a word created to express the feeling. Is it loss, heartbreak, shock, sadness, confusion? It’s all of them put together times infinity.
I know you must be wondering why Mommy can’t come and save you. I am sure you have been told that Mommy has no power to do anything. The house, the money, and now you are all belonging to someone else.
I see you Natalie. I see you coming to school with your tired eyes. I see you coming off the bus with your hair a mess. I see those dark circles under your eyes. I see you biting yourself so hard it’s leaving bruises and teeth marks. I see you wearing the same clothes every day. I see your signals that you need help. Mommy is trying so hard to help you baby.
I remember you always waking up with bright eyes, going to take a shower, doing your hair and leaving on time to pick up your girls on your bike. Happy, bright, light, and enjoying life as any 9 year old girl should. I am sorry I couldn’t protect you, I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you, I’m sorry I believed your Dad that you were going for his birthday and would come home to Mommy on Sunday. I’m sorry I didn’t think your Dad was capable of the evil he did to kidnap you and plan ahead to never return you to me.
Know that I have been fighting for you every day. I have been meeting with lawyers, the school, Ye Ye, Gong Gong and Po Po and am trying to find a way to bring you home.
Letters from Mommy 